First time i double posted yea, cause maybe i just want to write a post.
Hais, just now not in a mood to do anything yea. And, my coughing cannot be cured. What can i do. Hais. You said that if i don't study, might as well save the time & go to work. But even if you pull me go school & make me sit on the chair & study. My body is here, my soul isn't here. How well do you really understand me. From young till old, you only provide me what i needed. But then, you don't really understand me well enough. Sometimes, i will just share my feelings to my mother. She can understand it. Or maybe i'm too spoilt by my mummy. I don't know anything anymore. But, looking at my brother, i really think i'm just a failure. hais. My brother, every year in primary school & secondary school also get the scholarship award, now uni le. But what about me. I never even get a single dam award & i'm like always in the middle or something, i am never once in the top of the class before. How i envy him. I am like in hell, while he is in heaven. That type of distance can never ever be c0vered. I will never ever be like him. I know i just gonna flank this sesmester's theory & the teacher simply just against me. I gonna sink down v. deep this time round. I think i will be just expelled from school. And that's the end of me. I don't know who is me, why i sad of, what i want anymore. I want a true smile, but not a fake one. Who is there to stand by me & fulfill that wish for me? I guess nobody cause i am not worthy for anyone anymore. I am just disappointed in myself, & doesn't deserves to be in such a good family. And school is pressing me for the absence of the oversea trip on the holiday, i have no valid reasons. Let it be. I have no MC for friday & today cause i never go see doctor. But, i ate my medicine at home. But who will believe right? No evidence = no talk. I am dead this time. End.
Friends is like money, last time i had a lot of friends. But i just can't be bothered & just thrown them away like nothing. Now i am like bankrupt already. No more friends & somemore some of them forgotten me or hate me already. Now i understand how does it feel like to be pressed. School press, family press, future press, relationship press, results press. How am i gonna answer. I wonder.. :o
I am losing EVERYTHING & myself.. how i wish someone can help, but there won't be one. (:
Thanks For Tagging! (:
That is love;